A fortnight and a half

So I’ve survived three weeks.

If you’d asked me last weekend how it was going I would have said “Well, it’s tough, but there’s also some really great parts.”

Then this past week happened.

I have been struggling with curriculum development for about four months now. My lesson planning skills are pretty good, but big picture has been difficult and my stress about it has been nigh on paralyzing. But after looking at the Common Core appendix and stealing some stuff from my friends at another school, I thought I was on the right track.  Then Tuesday afternoon I get pulled into a meeting, the basic premise of which was “I love what you’re doing, this is how math instruction should be, but it’s not working for our kids and I need you to change everything.” Or at least that was my takeaway from it.  Mind you this was after a Monday when a student had a seizure and I had to start teaching an extra class on Microsoft Office and there was a neighborhood shooting outside , and after a Tuesday that was just generally terrible. So I had my first cry of the year.  Good times.

Then I spent the next four days in a spiral of confusion and no confidence and on more than one occasion considered just not going back to work. But Friday after a particularly terrible class, I spoke with the other math teacher at the school and decided to completely reboot things. I’m now moving away from the Common Core slightly back to a more traditional approach, but trying to work in some of the CCLS along the way. We’ll see how this goes, especially come exam time.  The good news is this change is Just in time for my first official observation on Tuesday. *jazz hands*

I still struggle with my 7th period, but I keep getting told that’s my pacing issue. Maybe it will get better once I have new material to work with? Who knows. I’m asking other people to come in and observe so I can get more feedback.

It hasn’t been all bad. I’ve been building relationships with some of the kids. I’ve gotten some great exit slips out of them about what they’ve learned. The quizzes weren’t a complete disaster.

Here are some takeaways so far:

  • They told me starting a new school was a lot of work. That is an understatement.
  • Working with administrators that have a Math background is very, very complicated.
  • In any situation, there are resources available that can help you, and resources available that can make you develop a drinking a problem. Figure those out early and only seek out ones that will help. (I knew this before, it’s probably my biggest takeaway from my 20s. But it has been reinforced a thousand times over the last three weeks).
  • My first year of teaching is difficult, but not in the ways I expected. I knew there would be long nights and poorly planned lessons and missteps galore when dealing with students. I was prepared for that and even when it sucks I can tell myself “Well, you’ll get better.” What I wasn’t prepared for was all the other stress that popped up. A lot of which ties into the “Starting a New School” thing.
  • I’m officially tired of being told “Your first year of teaching will suck” every time I have a bad day. It’s ceased to be helpful.
  • Kids are hilarious and complex, even when they’re being a pain in the ass. I yelled at a student to get out and not come back one day, and after I apologized we seem to be getting along better than we did before.
  • I need to get over myself, just in a very general sense.

So yeah. It’s been rough. But yesterday we went to the Citywide high school fair and we brought along some student ambassadors, and they were amazing. They were selling our school like nobody’s business and it was amazing and awesome.  On Tuesday students were staying after school and teaching us slang. PS – Giving Neck needs to stop right now.

I’m off to plan my first rebooted lesson. My co-worker compared it to the Batman films.  So we’re now in the “Algebra Begins” period of my year.  I may start teaching in a Batman voice.

Counting Down

Less than 12 hours until my first day of school as a teacher starts. Holy shit.

I’ve been so busy with getting ready for tomorrow that I’ve not been updating nearly as much as I wanted to. So here are some updates:

1.  My Unit 1 Map is finally done!

Well. Sort of. It’s done as in I’ve written out a very rough outline for where I want the 20+ lessons to go. I’m completely positive that I’m going to have to completely revamp the damn thing about a week in, but at least I have something to revamp. It’s really difficult when a lot of my first unit feels so…intangible. As I interpret the Common Core, I’m basically supposed to get kids comfortable with messing around with Math on their own. My first unit is just using what they should already know about Algebra and increasing their fluency and comfort with the procedures. The most important part seems to be getting them to explain, both in writing and verbally, their thinking and their steps.  I’m spending two days on that the first week, before we even get to any of the other standards. Then I’m spending a whole day just discussing what a variable is. Which I worry is crazy. But variables are such a vital part of Algebra that I want to make sure when I say variable, they know what I mean. I’ve gotten far too many crazy responses from the summer assignment for me to be confident that we all have the same understanding, and if we don’t have variables down what the hell are we going to do the rest of the year? So Frayer Box to the rescue.  Then it’s a lot of “Create an expression/equation from a pattern and explain why you did it.” 

But enough about that, because I’m going to start freaking out about how not-ready I am.

2. In addition to teaching Algebra 1, I’m also teaching literacy, advisory, and apparently I’m assisting in gym.

There are a lot of great things about working in a new school. I get to set the tone, shape the culture, and decide how math will look moving forward. We also went on home visits and met the students and their parents in their natural habitat, as it were. It was so cool and I think it will be so valuable.

But then there are the frustrating things, like an extra two weeks of PD my friends didn’t have but that were necessary to set up school expectations. And the fact that I have to wear six different hats all at once. In addition to those classes, I also “volunteered” to be a UFT delegate and was flat-out conscripted to be a track coach. Oh, and I’m running the Gay-Straight Alliance at school (if such a thing exists). My only response is to take a swig of my beer and soldier on.  

3. My classroom is decorated!

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With the help of a very nice woman named Verna, I have bulletin boards! It’s not 100% what I want but it’s a great start and I’m confident I’ll have time to beef it up this week. 

 

Those are probably the biggies. I’ve been running around crazy like. And tomorrow we go. I’m trying desperately not to psych myself out too much. At this point what’s done is done, so I can just sort of ride the wave. I’ve got lesson plans and PowerPoints for the first couple days. I had really wanted to be further along than this when I started the summer but the crippling panic of creating a curriculum map slowed me down considerably. I just hope my next five units go a little bit smoother once I know the students a bit better. 

I know I’m not going to sleep tonight, despite my best efforts. And I’ll be up an hour before my alarm. And I won’t be able to eat because I’ll be nervous all day. But then it will be over and I’ll grab a happy hour with my coworkers and I’ll come home and plan like a mad-man just so I don’t run out of ideas halfway through Wednesday. And I probably will anyway. But there’s no stopping it now. See you on the flip-side.

And away we go.

Lions and Tigers and Curriculums, Oh My!

I am sitting at my desk staring at my unit calendar, which is largely blank, and I’m about to have a nervous break, so let’s blog about it. 

During grad school we covered a whole lot of educational theory and the occasional practical skill.  Many of the practical skills (classroom management, lesson planning) were covered through teaching apprenticeships and student teaching. The one thing that wasn’t covered, at least to any degree of usefulness, was curriculum development. I think someone said at one point “Oh, don’t worry, you’ll get a pacing guide.”

And yet this is where I find myself a week and a half ahead of my first year of teaching, and panic is setting in. I have already looked at the Common Core pacing guide from the Appendix to the standards. I’ve borrowed heavily from another school in our network that I student taught at. I even found an amazing wiki online with suggestions for how the first unit should go. I have all these great tasks available online and through other teachers. I’m not hurting for resources.

Yet I keep staring at my unit map and I’m not sure how to proceed. At this point I know it’s more a mental block than anything else, but it’s almost paralyzing. What if I don’t give enough time for concepts? What if I teach a bunch of topics that students already know? What if I avoid both of those issues but don’t give myself enough time to cover everything in the year (well, more so than I already face)?  

I know these are common fears, and I know I just have to just choose a path and make it work one way or the other. I also know myself well enough to know that eventually I’ll get so annoyed at myself for being paralyzed that I’ll power through and whatever I come up with will not be the terrible disaster I foresee. But it’s intense and I need to bitch about it for a bit until I can get there. 

But I’d better get there soon because these posters are not going to make themselves.